Being the default parent means that care and decisions default to you. Some may use the term "primary parent." When discussing this, we are referring to the mental, physical, emotional, and logistical care that goes into parenthood and how that may or may not be split between parents in a partnership. If you are feeling like you are the "default parent" you might say or feel things like:
Now, after having a baby, so much is different. Unfortunately, it’s easier to access messages that tell us “how to bounce back” or “how to lose the baby weight fast” than it is to learn about the changes that have happened in our bodies and the ways to nurture and heal them with intention and grace.
Have you ever felt mean or even “bitchy” for needing and setting boundaries? Especially as women, we are often raised to be people pleasers. And yet, this is exhausting and doesn’t take our needs and desires into consideration. It is important to be a kind and giving person, but in order to truly do that, you need to establish boundaries.
A lot of women find themselves confused and feeling isolated when it comes to the conversation of sex after baby. Who can you talk to about sex when you’re a new mom? Can you bring it up at playgroup or with your friends? Women feel like they should be ready, even if they aren’t. This leaves new moms wondering if they’ve done something wrong, if their body is “broken” or if they are disappointing their partner.
You get to the bedroom and you start to undress the mombod you’ve acquired. Maybe this feels invigorating, but for many women, this comes with a lot of overwhelming feelings. Maybe you're experiecing painful sex or anxiety around it. You’re not alone! Postpartum sex is a topic we don’t always talk about, but we should! We are all going through it!