Learn the steps to take for fewer fights, a stronger connection, and your best relationship ever.
Feeling like your partner is a stranger?
Are you seeping with resentment?
Afraid the mental load will be the end of your "happily ever after?"
You're not alone. You're not broken. And you're not destined for doom.
The time before and after a baby are full of BIG changes for both you and your partner. When you think about all the inward and outward transitions, are you really surprised that relationships can take a hit and fall on a rocky road sometimes?
Planning for a baby?
Currently expecting?
Already parents?
One of the best gifts you can give that baby is a strong relationship they can see, feel and learn from.
Understand the way you see the world and family
and how it is the same or different from your partner.
Figure out your communication styles and patterns
and develop better patterns for better communication
Understand your top ways of feeling connected to yourself and your partner
and how to get more of that when you're both exhausted and overwhelmed.
Build in habits and conversations to create real teamwork in the home
more clarity of expectations and less resentment.
Understand values and priorities
to lay the foundation for making decisions and creating a life together for years to come.
This was created because it wasn't picture-perfect for us, but we didn't know where to turn.
As a first-time mom, I felt cheated. And my husband says the same about his experience. We had prepped for the day of birth. We prepped the nursing and diaper change areas. We organized a meal train. We read up on postpartum depression and how long physical recovery can take. And sure, there were a few mentions of things changing in the relationship like needing to take a break from sex and how mom would experience hormone plummets after giving birth... but mercy, no one talked about how the months (years) after having a baby would so drastically shift who we were as individuals and how we would connect and communicate as a couple.
I honestly didn't know if we were going to make it.
Sometimes it felt like we were speaking different languages.
Sometimes it felt like our eyes must see different things around the house that did (or didn't) need to be done.
Sometimes it felt like there was no room for intimacy because being tugged and sucked by a baby all day was touch-out central.
We didn't have the tools because most of us don't get communication and connection refreshers throughout life. Our generation didn't get great lessons in interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence. We're also a generation with more of our own parents than ever still in the workforce- leaving less to be passed down from generation to generation (and less of a village AKA help!).
This is a lot of change, with little support, in a short amount of time, while also having the new responsibility of caring for a tiny human.
So yeah, it was a rough season for us. I won't hide that. But what I can say is we saw early on that if we didn't invest in our personal relationship, it would create more hardships down the road for the whole family.
We started prioritizing connections in tiny windows of time we had available.
We started having hard conversations.
We both committed to doing some inner work to understand ourselves better so that we could understand how we work together.
We created a routine for checking in and setting expectations.
We learned to speak one another's love language so we could better feel loved.
And I do want you to know, there were a lot of things that truly WERE blissful like we expected. A lot of memories, laughter, and happy tears were shared. But, it wasn't all that and chances are it isn't for you either (unless you're an AI robot form of a parent maybe).
Working with Me:
Relationship Roadmap Couple's Coaching
"It's so helpful to have a third party hear both of our perspectives and then help us work through something."
"This is one of the few comfortable spaces I have to work on myself and how I show up for my family."
"We realized it's less about who is right and more about how we approach decisions or disagreements together."
It's my goal that every session with me is like cozying up to a place where you can be seen and heard. That in itself feels good, but with coaching, we go beyond that. We take those experiences and conversations and look for ways you and your partner can better understand one another. We dig into how you're communicating and how that can be done in more of a teamwork manner. We find ways to prioritize the connection you both need, without building resentment.
Our work together allows you to enjoy more of the life you've built together- and isn't that why you built a life together? So you can enjoy it? And isn't it a gift to your child(ren) to give them a place to learn how to relate to other people in a respectful way too?
Ready to Get Started?
Here's exactly what to expect from the process.
1. You decide that you want things to improve more than you want them to stay the same (and that you're willing to prioritize that because you know the long-term benefits are worth it.)
2. You schedule a free exploration call with me- preferably with both partners present- so we can talk through where you are and where you want to be and make sure that coaching is the right avenue to get you there.
3. If we decide it's a good fit, we set up the logistics (payment, scheduling, provider agreement).
4. We spend 12 weeks together addressing communication patterns, connection needs, mental load, resentment, future family vision and more.
5. I create a roadmap to show you where you are going as individuals and as a couple.
6. You can reference the roadmap and our work together for years to come as you continue growing!
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