5 Things You NEED to Talk About Before Baby Comes
Don’t Have a Baby Without THESE Conversations First
Alright, expecting parents—let's get real for a second. You’re about to step into one of the most exciting, sleep-deprived, love-filled, and occasionally sticky (looking at you, spit-up) times of your life. But before you dive headfirst into the baby world, there’s something you need to know: Having a baby without key conversations is like going on a road trip without a map. Sure, you might make it to your destination, but it could be a bumpy ride, and you’ll definitely want to avoid the detours marked “Sleep-Deprived Resentment” and “Didn’t-We-Already-Agree-On-This?!”
So, let’s talk about the five essential conversations you and your partner need to have before baby arrives, why they matter, and how they’ll save you from becoming those new parents who silently fight over who’s changing the next diaper at 2 a.m.
1. Who’s Doing What? A.K.A. Division of Labor
You know how fun it is to debate over who’s taking out the trash now? Well, add a baby to that mix and suddenly, you’re negotiating like two exhausted lawyers on no sleep. So, before you’re up to your eyeballs in baby gear, sit down and talk about who’s going to handle what.
Diaper duty? Midnight feedings? Bath time? These tasks don't magically assign themselves. The last thing you want is for your partner to assume you’ll do everything because you're home on maternity leave or vice versa. Get clear about what each of you is comfortable doing and be open to shifting things as needed.
And trust me, when you have clear expectations, you’ll spend less time rolling your eyes and more time actually enjoying those tiny baby snuggles.
Discussing division of labor now will prevent simmering resentment later. When both of you know what’s expected, you’re less likely to feel like you're carrying the load alone. If this feels like a tough conversation to navigate, coaching can offer a neutral, supportive space to hash it out. We’ll dig into those unspoken assumptions and create a plan that feels balanced for both of you. No more guessing games—just clarity and teamwork.
2. Sleep Schedules & Nighttime Responsibilities
You’ve heard it before: Sleep deprivation is torture. And it’s true. So when you’re sleep-deprived and trying to figure out who’s on baby duty at 3 a.m., tensions can run high. Discuss how you’ll manage sleep schedules before you’re knee-deep in sleep deprivation.
Will you take shifts? Does one of you need more sleep because of work or other responsibilities? And what’s your game plan if your baby decides to reject sleep altogether? (Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.)
You don’t want to be making these decisions while half-awake and frustrated. Planning how to handle nighttime duties ahead of time ensures no one is caught off guard—or, worse, grumpy. Coaching can help you navigate sleep schedules and nighttime responsibilities in a way that works for both of you. We’ll create a plan that takes into account each partner’s needs (and work schedules), so you’re set up for success, not late-night arguments.
3. Parenting Philosophies: Attachment, Discipline, and the Whole Nine Yards
I know it’s tempting to say, “We’ll figure it out as we go,” but here’s the thing—when you’re sleep-deprived and have a baby screaming at you, your parenting philosophies may suddenly matter a lot more than you realized. Are you team attachment parenting? Is your partner a fan of structure? How will you handle discipline when that day comes?
These conversations don’t have to be set in stone (you’ll evolve as parents), but it’s helpful to get on the same page before you're in the trenches.
Having these talks now ensures you’re not clashing over big-picture parenting decisions in the heat of the moment. You may not know everything about how you’ll parent, but discussing core values and ideas helps align your visions for your family. Through coaching, we can explore these parenting philosophies in-depth. I’ll help you sort through different approaches and identify what resonates most with your shared values. This isn’t about having the “right” answer—it’s about finding your answers as a team.
4. Money, Money, Money: Financial Planning for Baby
Babies are cute, but they aren’t cheap. (Trust me, that diaper bill adds up fast!) From medical bills to baby gear, it’s important to have a financial plan in place. Will one of you take extended leave from work? How will you budget for daycare? And what about those sneaky costs you didn’t even know you’d have—like a never-ending supply of burp cloths?
Talking about finances isn’t always fun, but doing it before the baby arrives can save you a lot of stress later. Plus, when you have a plan in place, you can focus more on enjoying your new family and less on wondering if you should have budgeted for that extra box of diapers.
When you’re both on the same page financially, there’s less tension and more freedom to enjoy life with your baby.
5. Setting Boundaries with Extended Family
You love your family. They love you. But after the baby arrives, they might love to drop by… unannounced… a lot. Setting clear boundaries with extended family before the baby is born is key to maintaining your sanity and peace of mind.
Do you want visitors at the hospital? Are you okay with drop-ins, or would you prefer scheduled visits? These are crucial questions to answer before the baby arrives so that everyone’s on the same page, and no one’s feelings are hurt when you need some space to bond as a family.
Establishing boundaries now saves you from awkward conversations and potential conflicts down the line. Your baby’s arrival is a special time, and you deserve to enjoy it without feeling overwhelmed by well-meaning (but sometimes overbearing) family members. Coaching can help you create healthy, respectful boundaries with family members, ensuring that your needs as new parents come first. We’ll work together to craft scripts and strategies that make these conversations easier—and less awkward!
Ready to Take the Stress Out of These Conversations?
Listen, I know these talks can feel intimidating. You’re about to become parents, and that’s a big deal. But the good news? You don’t have to figure this all out on your own. Through coaching, I help expecting couples navigate these essential conversations with confidence and ease. Together, we’ll create a plan that’s realistic, aligned with your values, and—most importantly—designed to strengthen your relationship as you step into parenthood.
So, before you have the baby, let’s have the conversations that matter. I’m here to guide you every step of the way. Reach out to learn more about how coaching can support you in preparing for baby—and for a strong, connected partnership.
That’s it! No more winging it. Let’s start planning, communicating, and getting on the same page—because you deserve to enjoy these precious early moments without the extra stress.